Mind the trees! by Amarok
Summary:

Elf and ranger are discussing serious matters while trudging through Mirkwood...


Categories: Third Age - Pre LOTR Characters: Aragorn, Legolas
Genres: General
Language: English
Warnings: None
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 668 Read: 1948 Published: 12/05/10 Updated: 12/05/10
Story Notes:

Disclaimer: Everything everyone recognizes belongs to JRR Tolkien and his heirs. No money is earned by writing and posting this, and no offence is intended, of course.

 

This is a short un-beta-ed experiment I found on my hard-drive (the experiment was: only write in dialogue, as has been done 10000nds of times, but never by me so far). I still write new fanfics, but I have switched to writing them in my mother language. Not sure my use of commas is any better there, but at least I can do it more intuitively ;-).

 

And now: have fun :-).

1. Chapter 1 by Amarok

Chapter 1 by Amarok

Mind the trees!

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“No, truly, mellon nin, you can not do that.“

“Why not?“

“Look around you. Do you not see that this would be a most inappropriate place?”

“To be honest, I see nothing special about this place. Here are as many huge trees as there were twenty leagues back. Just without the spiders inhabiting then, and I also think we left the dozen or so orcs behind, so finally there is time to take care of a few things. That bleeding spot at your side, for example.”

“Do not try to change the subject to my wounds, minor as they are. Instead let us focus on the right spot to perform such a deed as you are preparing for. Obviously you are not used to the wonders of Mirkwood. But that can be changed. Touch the stem of that huge oak to your left, and tell me about its requirements.”

“Excuse me, mellon, but at the moment my own requirement is much more pressing than any one of those admittedly great oaks might be having.”

“You are as careless as any other man! You would, by ignoring the circumstances, inflict discomfort to this tree, willingly? Just to satisfy your lesser needs? I hoped Elrond taught you better.”

“He taught me well enough, and even you can't deny his expertise in matters of health. But while instilling within me the knowledge about how to survive in the wild, neither he nor his sons ever mentioned any of the concerns you are having. Perhaps the plants in Imladris are more forgiving than Mirkwoods greenery. And truly, Legolas, this is becoming an issue of life or death soon, so I'll just--”

“Aragorn! Halt that movement this instant! I will not allow this! The Noldor really should have trained you better. But what can one expect from--”

“Legolas, be reasonable. There truly is no time now for a lengthy debate about the different elven kins and their relations to nature. If you would point me to a tree or bush that would not mind, I'd be more than happy to oblige. You know very well that I can not speak to them myself.”

“It gladdens my heart that you finally seem to understand the importance of the matter. It is something that requires a lot of consideration, though. You see, a lot depends on the tree involved, and also-”

“Could you kindly first decide, and later tell me about all the important points that led to your decision? I am having problems standing upright as it is.”

“-as I was saying, one also must take into account the season, the current weather conditions, the place where the longest roots enter the ground, the age of the plant involved, and to which family the tree or bush belongs, of course.”

“Legolas, I am begging you. Get on with it.”

“How often have I told you, that you can not rush things like this? Be patient, mellon. One of these kind souls around us may yet agree to your request, but you have to give them time to get acquainted first, to adjust to the idea that one of mankind, even though of as a high lineage as yours, wants to-”

“Legolas! Hurry up, or there won't be any chance to decide on the right spot for it any longer. This is really killing me!”

“Just one more moment. Surely you would not want to risk the wrath of these glorious trees by offending them in such a way? You see, there is one last thing to consider. We ate and drank the same, so there is not much concern, even though our bodies might agree differently to the intakes. But you did smoke your pipe last night, and as you surely can imagine, that is quite a sore topic to any leave-carrying creature, so I have to find one willing enough to-”

“By Morgoth's breath, elf, either you decide right now, or I'll involuntarily risk the wrath of your father by offending him with an quite inappropriate appearance before him. So, pray tell, where can I pee?”

 

End Notes:

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Running and hiding... ;-)

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